Just got a call from the doctor and my insurance has ok'd my visit and they can get me in earlier! I'm going next Monday! So thrilled!! So now I cross my fingers that my 6 month diet is thorough enough and that things go as smoothly as they can. I'm so nervous in so many good ways right now. Things I can't do today that I hope I can after surgery:
First set of goals:
1. Wear a 3x shirt and 26w pants
2. Walk around a store without my feet hurting.
3. Have a normal blood pressure.
4, Wear my seat belt in my car.
5. Put on socks without a struggle.
6. Paint my OWN toenails!
7. Wear a bathing suit :)
Sounds simple doesn't it? Things that's most people take for granted. Such simple goals that at this point seem so far off.
So a bit of background info. My sister who is 4 years younger than me one day asked why I didn't just do something with myself. She couldn't understand why I didn't just go to work and make a decent life for myself. If she could do it, I could right? Well here was my example. You know how you get up in the morning? You take a shower, brush your hair, get dressed and make breakfast. You then drive to work and are a ball of energy from 9-5. You come home, spend time with the kids, cook dinner. The house needs work and there are clothes to wash. Dishes need to be done, and every once in a while your girlfriends call and want to hang out. You hit the pillow exhausted and wake up the next day, ready to do it all over again. Well imagine doing that with 260 lbs strapped to your body (she's about 120lbs). Every step of every hour, you are carrying that on your bones, your joints, your muscles. Your heart is pumping blood to all of that extra weight and is beating hard and its hard to breath when your up doing it. People who judge overweight people think it's a choice and to a point it is, but I can tell you from experience that at some point it gets out of control. Being this big hurts! It's embarrassing. People stare and make comments. I can't be who I want to be right now. I have so many amazing talents. But when people see me, they only see a fat person. Not a mother, an artist, an intelligent human being with stories that would make their sides hurt with laughter. Just a fat person. I'm tired of all of it. I'm ready to put this struggle to the back and work on much more important things. I refuse to be a slave to this any longer! Wish me luck :)
Weight today 377 :(
Goal weight 200
Pounds to lose 177
First set of goals:
1. Wear a 3x shirt and 26w pants
2. Walk around a store without my feet hurting.
3. Have a normal blood pressure.
4, Wear my seat belt in my car.
5. Put on socks without a struggle.
6. Paint my OWN toenails!
7. Wear a bathing suit :)
Sounds simple doesn't it? Things that's most people take for granted. Such simple goals that at this point seem so far off.
So a bit of background info. My sister who is 4 years younger than me one day asked why I didn't just do something with myself. She couldn't understand why I didn't just go to work and make a decent life for myself. If she could do it, I could right? Well here was my example. You know how you get up in the morning? You take a shower, brush your hair, get dressed and make breakfast. You then drive to work and are a ball of energy from 9-5. You come home, spend time with the kids, cook dinner. The house needs work and there are clothes to wash. Dishes need to be done, and every once in a while your girlfriends call and want to hang out. You hit the pillow exhausted and wake up the next day, ready to do it all over again. Well imagine doing that with 260 lbs strapped to your body (she's about 120lbs). Every step of every hour, you are carrying that on your bones, your joints, your muscles. Your heart is pumping blood to all of that extra weight and is beating hard and its hard to breath when your up doing it. People who judge overweight people think it's a choice and to a point it is, but I can tell you from experience that at some point it gets out of control. Being this big hurts! It's embarrassing. People stare and make comments. I can't be who I want to be right now. I have so many amazing talents. But when people see me, they only see a fat person. Not a mother, an artist, an intelligent human being with stories that would make their sides hurt with laughter. Just a fat person. I'm tired of all of it. I'm ready to put this struggle to the back and work on much more important things. I refuse to be a slave to this any longer! Wish me luck :)
Weight today 377 :(
Goal weight 200
Pounds to lose 177
